Aah the opposite sex. Mega pains that we somehow "can't live without"- Well I for one am pretty sure I can! For a while...
Don't get me wrong, they do come in handy for those boring Sunday/ Tuesday and sometimes Thursday nights when the telly is unbearable and all your fun single friends have become shacked up/ knitting old spinsters, but other than that I'm not quite sure why we always seem to have the same/ similar boy-typo's in our ex-files!
Checklist:
1. The guy I'll always have a 'thing' for:
- Never see him cue anxiety at thought of seeing him at the most inconvenient moments but never actually doing so
- Random appearances ie at the workplace (*a bar, he's not a stalker jeez!) which thanks to the nature of the workplace i'm always (relatively) prepared for although never stops the heartbeat speeding up and beady eyed glances to see which girls he's with..
- New gf every couple of months to make me feel like a relationship fluffer: we never got serious in a year and a bit yet 4months later you've bought her a car, introduced her to your parents and changed your FB relationship status...!!
- And then you tell me you're moving away for good. The end.
2) The flirt who declares his lust for you but never actually takes you out:
- tells you things he's "never told anyone before" on your first date
- your first date is on the couch watching films followed by PG 13 petting!
- every other "date" is spent pretty much the same way til its adult viewing
-then nothing.!
3) The one who insists he wants to take you out so u swap digits (not phone numbers- BB pins duh!) only for his every status to be about "smitten" "in love" with another girl....
4) The ones who you swap numbers with only to be bombarded with drunken calls and requests for picture messages, to his friends phone because his is "playing up"!
5) The jailbait (only slightly!) you give the benefit to and date twice only to be stunned with PDA's on 2nd date, glares and overprotectiveness at any males within proximity (including the bartender), unable to make his mind up about where to go/ what to eat/ as if its a form of endearment for "the lady" (its not. its just actually very annoying, mostly because I cant be bothered choosing!).
- Extreme case inclue constant texts asking "Why have you abandoned me?/ You promised you'd call/ I really really like you" (from experience!)
Now if anyone has mastered the skill for a cross between treat them mean and keep them as playthings and not (anything)-to-be's, I for one, would love to know... only so I can maximise my new toy to it's full potential!
